Opposites. Antonyms. My favorite part of the English question paper, back in elementary school. The little me loved these pairs of words we connected using lines, in “Match the following.”
Light x Dark
Soft x Hard
Good x Bad
Happy x Sad
Black x White
As simple as that. In reality, however, there are a lot of words between Soft and Hard. There are a lot of things between Good and Bad. And there are a hell lot of shades between Black and White.
Often we look for extremes, in life. Most of us want a list of good people, whom we can always trust, and a list of bad people, whom we are to always avoid. Most of us spend so much time and energy trying to judge each person in our life and categorize them. I think they can’t be categorized. People are unpredictable. You, me and everybody else. We cannot even predict our own selves.
Categorizing someone makes an impression of them in our mind that refuses to go away. It creates a mesh, one that acts as a guidebook for how to treat them, how to talk to them, how much time to spend with them… a mesh of expectations too, and if that mesh is broken, somehow, due to the person’s actions.. it hurts. And so, it is not healthy to keep trying to decide how to act to someone because people are not Black or White. We’re all gray. Beautiful and unique shades of gray.
Once we train ourselves to accept that, it will be easier to get over being mistreated by someone. Afterall, disappointments can only come from expectations.
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